You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
