It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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