You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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