I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
