I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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