i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
