glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
