6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
