fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
