i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
