No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
