so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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