is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
