So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
