Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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