Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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