Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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