I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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