i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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