"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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