Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm both gender and math confused
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
