Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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