just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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