Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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