I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
