I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
