he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
