when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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