So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
