Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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