We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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