my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
As shirtless as possible
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
