$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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