Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
