that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my shit smells like andre
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
