I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
