all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
