I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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