I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize