Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
