my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
