I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
