so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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