he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
