guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
