i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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