Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
