i may or may not be watching the land before time
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
