i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
