Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
