It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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