He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
