We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
