How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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