from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
