I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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