shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
