idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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