Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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