She's JV to your varsity
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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