he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
