So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
