his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You took a bar mat shot.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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