the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.