We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.