Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

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  (317): There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas?? http://tfl.nu/74h0
  Replies (59) Good night (1999) Bad night (3238)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  and she was petting her beer can

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  (727): and she was petting her beer can http://tfl.nu/fa24
  Replies (8) Good night (4272) Bad night (854)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5193) Bad night (1324)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i came on her dog

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  (504): i came on her dog http://tfl.nu/ocp2
  Replies (45) Good night (2215) Bad night (6753)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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  (402): He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart. http://tfl.nu/f1o2
  Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (990)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.

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  (313): In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact. http://tfl.nu/ir67
  Replies (12) Good night (2101) Bad night (942)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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  (580): He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages. http://tfl.nu/hdcq
  Replies (4) Good night (1633) Bad night (730)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?

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  (613): On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it? http://tfl.nu/27yi
  Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (669)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.

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  (914): The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes. http://tfl.nu/xsso
  Replies (8) Good night (1086) Bad night (431)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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  (501): Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again. http://tfl.nu/b8kl
  Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (259)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that

  (972): View more from Texas

  How awkward

  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah it's pretty fucked up

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  (214): They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that (972): How awkward (214): Yeah it's pretty fucked up http://tfl.nu/97bk
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (351)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.

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  (724): We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point. http://tfl.nu/0a5d
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (254)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.

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  (256): I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong. http://tfl.nu/l8wk
  Replies (2) Good night (257) Bad night (352)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.

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  (512): I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual. http://tfl.nu/irow
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (235)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?

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  (773): I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day? http://tfl.nu/hz4d
  Replies (6) Good night (184) Bad night (663)

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