I want to have your abortion
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming