I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.