Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.

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(734): View more from Michigan

going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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(614): View more from Ohio

My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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(630): View more from Illinois

This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax

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(301): View more from Maryland

I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.

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